Always the serious but yet the comedy too.....I don't know folks, I had to read this one over a few times. I love the title to this book. Seriously.... the name is "The Myth of Sanity-Divided Consciousness and the Promise of Awareness", by Martha Stout P.H.D. (Martha, Martha, Martha, oh nevermind that's The Brady Bunch and her name was Marsha). Are you "flipping" kidding me???? (yes, I'm trying to lay off saying the "F" word so much) And so, I ask you this....."who the fuck are the stupid word police who deemed the word "fuck" a bad word????" Someone tell me....just because it is not a word that is ever mentioned in the Bible.....well do you think "dude" is mentioned in the Bible or the word "latte" or F-ing "Starbucks" for that matter (still trying to lay off that "f" word and those of you who know me well know this is a chore) is or at least a thousand other words I can think of. So it is a slang word then so be it because I use it as such and if that's the worst sin I commit then I think I can handle that little jist between me & God---worry about yourself!! Yes, I'm just waiting for the "word-Police" to come arrest me now! So here is a small blurb from "The Myth of Sanity". My book review consists of "some really great shit I tell ya" until the last statement, the whole "unalterable destiny" sentence is just a bit on the way too over-dramatic side but otherwise good points. I'm not a book reviewer professionally, nor do I plan to be. Just my opinion so please nobody sue me but check out this great read. Here's the blurb from the back of the book: "We Are All A Little Crazy" "In listening to my patients tell me thousands of stories about the past, as they try to find some peace in the present, I have learned this beyond the shadow of a doubt. Rather than behaving sanely, rather than being in touch with our present realities, we human beings-all of us, myself included--are too often simply run by losses and hardships long gone by, and by our stockpiled fears. Our collective history, our individual lives, our very minds, bear unmistakable testimony". "Instead of receding harmlessly into the past, the darkest, most frightening events from our childhood and adolescence gain power and authority as we grow older. The memory of such evens, causes us to depart from ourselves, psychologically speaking, or to separate one part of our awareness from others. What we conceive of as an unbroken thread of consciousness is, instead, quire often a train of discontinuous fragments. Our awareness is divided. And much more commonly than we know, even our personalities are fragmented-disorganized team efforts trying to cope with the past-rather than the sane, unified wholes we anticipate in ourselves and in other people" "Is this our unalterable destiny as human beings?" My response: Geez I fucking hope not!!!

Confessions of a slope widow - (not to be confused with Alaskan Bush Widows---God forbid!)

Okay I'm on a kick. Or a personal mission or wtf ever & not many will understand where I am coming from but Nana always told me that journaling was good for the mind and soul. A healing process??? Not sure putting all that pessimistic "life really isn't so great shit" down on paper is exactly what she meant, but you have to take the good with the bad. I remember a time when as I look back on it was a really really good time for us. When??? The day we got married I guess. When i said "I do" there was nothing in my vows about becoming a slope widow and adapting to that lifestyle mentioned at ALL. Had there been and had I been given the choice (full knowing what it actually would mean of course) I can tell you that I would have run away scared to death for a marriage that according to statistics is completely doomed to begin with. Divorce rates among the normal "job" holding couples is already high enough. Slope life just puts you in an even bigger category for failure. I'm sure when everyone reads this the normal rumors will go around "Natalie has lost her mind again" well let's hope that is really just it and I can find it again cuz lately I'm lost and desperate to understand what it is that gets the strong through this life to where a marriage survives. And when I find that answer....am I sure it is something I can live with? How about the sloper? Can they live with it? Oh that's right let me tell you the perks.....your husband (or wife) is gone more than half the year and home on "vacation" the other half. The problem is that vacation schedule does not always match yours. Why wasn't this an issue back when we started this gig over 5 years ago? Well at that time we were grateful for just a job that brought in the income. No longer having to depend on parental figures to survive financially and keep a roof over our heads was more than enough to convince us. What nobody told us was how hard it would be and how much it would grind away at the bonds of matrimony that we thought had already been put to the ultimate tests of EVERYTHING and WERE CONSIDERED to be UNSHAKEABLE. Think again...your mental state of being sometimes clashes with rationality when you want so bad to hear the other's voice but must not let your mind run wild when they are truly just sleeping or BUSY. Ahh the staying busy part. Everyone wants you to do it and you try. The sloper feels guilty for being away so much but does their best to make the most of it and the slope wife does their best to keep the household running and portray that there really is a husband who makes her extremely happy that she loves and adores, even though many of her friends question his existence. The slopers have THEIR other life. A long ways away from home, one that those of us at home cannot fathom despite the pictures and maps and stories of certain drill sites or popular cited places making National news headlines on the North Slope (also known as the NRP-A.). You are told by the old timers to make the best of it by making that R&R time a second honeymoon every time. Nobody ever said that "other real life issues" would sometimes get in the way. By the way, you can't just visit the slope if you are a "widow" and sometimes the weather can shut the place down completely...don't count on Facetime or Skype to work without issues....it just doesn't happen. On the flip side, I've read these stupid blogs by women who rave about how wonderful the R&R time is (like a second honeymoon---while that may be true--let's be realistic about when your whole R&R is spent dealing with tragedies (funerals for dead relatives---even those you have had to venture alone when the sloper wanted more than anything to be there and we both regret that the sloper just can't be there so we accept it....even if he does get the approval it doesn't mean he can get a flight off the slope in time to even make it) and then there are illnesses contracted by all of us and at any given time--sickness does not plan around R&R) trips get canceled (they are already almost impossible to schedule) but sloper doesn't care what you have planned because they are just glad to be home. And the widows try like hell to be glad for the same but it just goes down in familial history as another life event that the sloper missed. The family at home feels guilty about doing anything fun or taking any trips etc etc because the sloper should be with them. At times I just say screw it "we are gonna take this raft out on the water and we are gonna have fun" and we try. But bottom line is that especially when you have fun without that person, that thought ever so constant in the back of your mind makes it so you can't help but wonder if this sacrifice is really truly worth it. So why has it taken me over five years to finally write about this....cuz I knew if I started that I might not like what I found myself writing. Why can't I be as strong as those women who were my fifth generation strong?? The Nana's, the Bammy's and the Aunt Ione's of our family history. Those women helped breastfeed each other's children during the depression because they had to---so they did and they didn't complain, in fact they loved re-telling that story to those of us who thought it completely disgusting of a concept when we were told. To them it was a blessing. Difference: There was an end in sight. And we weren't talking about one borrowing the other's husband or sloper when they were on R&R and yours was gone. What I've found is that my man is highly successful at his job (evidenced by recent evaluations of almost all perfect 5's) and he can certainly move up the ranks as soon as openings are available. So how could an ungrateful spoiled brat little wife ever complain when it is probably everything her dear hubby longed for in a career?? Welcome to my world and deal with the guilt or suck it up or wtf ever. I hope the hecklers really chime in on what a brat I really am for even complaining. Can't tell you how much I am given the "look" that says this or the response "it's hard on him too you know!". NO SHIT!! Please tell me (and him) something we haven't already heard 100 times. Oh and my personal favorite "All she does is sit around and do whatever she wants and spends all his money". Nobody understands this unless they have lived it. I don't bother my Aunt J with this stuff because first off, I know she knows exactly what I am talking about and understands where I am coming from full well. She could add a great deal to this I'm sure but the woman has done her time and peace be hers now that her sloper has retired. I think of doing this for as many years as she has and it all comes back to me about why I never did like dating military boys. I don't do well alone and this life leaves you alone with thoughts that nobody else can comprehend a lot of the times. I have wonderful friends and supportive family that surround me constantly and keep me busy but I've never felt so alone in my entire life. So if I were to give an ultimatum and say no more will I do this or live this life.....what a selfish ungrateful bitch I would be labeled. Yep I get it and that is 100% correct. So the solution is upping the dose of my anti-depressants that docs told me years ago I would probably be on the rest of my life so I didn't need to add tougher consequences to the mix of my depression. My point is that I signed on for "in sickness and in health" and I think we have both had to Prove that readiness more than once (him more so than I but I think we will catch up with each other periodically as we get older and experience more age-related illnesses) but nobody said anything about being a sloper with a widow and what it would entail or how it would suck the years of our lives away so fast that we can barely keep up anymore. I tried to determine when I stopped sending out christmas cards (when? I'll give you a hint but it was about 5 years ago) why? because I can't handle it to try and digest that another year has passed by at the blink of an eye. Another huge downfall of slope life. As in a serious non-perk of time suckage of years at a time. I don't want people freaking out and thinking the result of this blog or meaning of or whatever is "me giving up" on a matrimonial commitment that is pretty much 98% doomed (according to statistics). Everybody seems to have room to judge everyone else these days but don't do it until you've lived a day in their shoes. Luckily I don't scare that easily but I am here to say that everything within my being of what is right has at some point or another been put to the ultimate test since embarking on this adventure and I have to remember that we can accomplish anything so long as we get on the same planet. I just don't feel I have much time to waste getting to that planet together so I become impatient. In both of our defenses, we are human beings like everyone else and make mistakes like everyone else. Not saying you get a pass to be bad cuz you live the "slope" life but I am saying that listening to each other's needs, including the legitimate fears is huge. Reassurance is even bigger. Luckily, I have the best man there is to endure this with and he tries like hell to understand me and I try like hell to understand him. It's not the life we pictured but it has blessed us with many things that others are not fortunate enough to have (things that would have never been a possibility otherwise both for our kids and ourselves)so we must be thankful for the blessings and try not to the let the negative pessimistic points control our thinking. Some days this is easier said than done that's all I'm trying to say.

45 LIFE LESSONS LEARNED ......Words to live by....

This is one of those things that came to me via e-mail from a good friend of mine who lives far away. It was a FWD FWD FWD FWD FWD in the subject line so I did not actually open it up to read the message until several weeks later when I was cleaning up old e-mail. But here's what I found after I scrolled down through what seemed like a zillion comments from all FWD FWD FWD FWD FWD's people. Regina Brett from Texas was preparing to celebrate her 90th birthday last August (2012) and she was asked by her family/friends/peers what the most important lessons were that she had learned over the years during her lengthy life. So before I even started reading further, I paused to think about this for a moment. What lessons had I learned thus far in my life? If I were to write them down, what would they be? What would you write? Well, as I'm picking off the obvious ones from the top of my head, I'm counting to myself, there's one, two, three, four, five, six and then it starts getting harder to think of things, well ones that I would consider the "most important" ones. I think the most I could come up at that moment was fifteen possibly twenty. I will say that timing is everything! For the last couple of months, I have been feeling really down about this thing that we really have no way to control and that's the aging process. I don't want to get any older, in fact, I'd like to turn back the clock a few years. Not a whole bunch of years, just a few. It just seems that the older you get, the faster the years fly by. My oldest turned 18 in Feb and will be leaving the nest to go away to college. My baby is definitely no longer my baby and will officially be a teenager in a couple of days. Everyday is a gift people! There are no do-overs or turning back time so make the most of every single one you have left. Enjoy..... The 45 lessons that my life taught me By: Regina Brett, TX 1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 3. Life is too short – enjoy it. 4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. 5. Pay off your credit cards every month. 6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself. 7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. 8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it. 9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. 10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. 11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. 12. It's OK to let your children see you cry. 13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it. 15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks. 16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind. 17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways. 18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. 19. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else. 20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer. 21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. 22. Over prepare, then go with the flow. 23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple. 24. The most important sex organ is the brain. 25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. 26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?' 27. Always choose life. 28. Forgive 29. What other people think of you is none of your business. 30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time. 31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. 32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 33. Believe in miracles. 34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do. 35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now. 36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young. 37. Your children get only one childhood. 38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. 39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. 40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back. 41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need 42. The best is yet to come... 43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. 44. Yield. 45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Physical Pain v. Emotional Pain

Physical & Chronic Pain vs. Emotional Pain: Is one better than the other???
Okay so as a person having been through both of them pretty severely, I’m not really sure what the correct answer to this question is. After having been through both I would have to say NO THERE ISN’T ONE that is GREATER OR BETTER than the OTHER! If there are those of you who agree that emotional is harder, it only tells me you have never experienced chronic excruciating physical pain but then again…..Did your child parent, sibling or spouse commit suicide? Have any of them unsuccessfully tried to commit suicide on more than one occasion? Did you lose a child to miscarriage more than once when your whole life had become based around having a child? Was your brother murdered? Was a good friend of yours killed in an auto accident? Have you lost loved ones to the big “C” word? Not fair and I can’t explain how much it hurts or feels. What I do know is this….I have been through both and guess what……physical pain hurts enough to where I HAVE thought about committing suicide myself many times. Let me clarify and say that I would never act on it, but the thought has crossed my mind. So what do we do in order to deal and live with this pain? This isn’t a blog where I give everyone all the answers! This is where I’m hoping some of you will comment and there will be some positive inspiration here. I can tell you that prayer has been a big part of my recovery. I don’t care who we are, what religion we may be, hopefully we have all been down on our knees in our lifetimes. If not, I’m telling you that you might be missing out on something big because the power is huge.
I have been wanting to post this blog for a while…..BECAUSE I really want to know does one hurt less than the other? My physical pain started in August 2007 and I never thought I would ever have to explain myself but I constantly to this day, have to do it all the time and I know there is at least half of these people who don’t’ believe that there is anything wrong with me. I am constantly answering to disability attorneys, doctors, physical therapists, etc, etc. I thought that was the worst thing I’d ever been through but losing a loved one I have to say ranks right up there and for a few moments during the deep sadness and regret, I forget about my own trials for a minute because I’m not sure which one is hurting more or less. I guess the difference is that the emotional pain over time seems not to hurt so much. I only wish the physical pain I suffer could be the same way. NO PHYSICAL AND NO EMOTIONAL PAIN SHOULD HAVE TO BE PART OF ANY OF OUR LIVES…..YET WE ALL DEAL WITH IT EVERYDAY AND IT MAKES US WHO WE ARE. WE HAVE TO CONTROL WHO WE BECOME AS A RESULT OF THESE THINGS AND THAT MY FRIENDS IS MUCH EASIER SAID THAN DONE. Pain can turn you into a monster. I know, for I have been that monster more times than I ever care to remember or that I want my husband, kids and immediate family members to remember. There are many ways to deal with it. If you are someone dealing with pain, whether it be emotional or physical, the important thing is to recognize it and get the help you need. It cannot be done on your own.

DEFINING MOMENTS

I am going to get a tad bit personal and tell a little more about my life than I normally would. You can think of me what you want and I really honestly don’t care. If I cared about what people thought about me then I wouldn’t be who I am today and the last blog I wrote would have killed me but I didn’t let it and I’m here and I am me. You either like me for who I am, or, you don’t and you think I am a total bitch and that is fine! It’s me….take it or leave it.

Recently, a very, very intelligent person (my brother, Nate—wouldn’t be right if I didn’t give him the credit here) pointed out something to me that I had never really thought about it and it has to do with the ““DEFINING MOMENTS”” of our lives and how they make us who we are. But I thought just a little bit deeper than what he was saying as far as ““DEFINING MOMENTS”” go…like when my first baby, Taylor (who is now 14), was born. WOW!! Now that was a “DEFINING MOMENT”!! Think about your first born (if you have kids) and how you felt at that moment when the miracle of new life was placed into your arms! My “DEFINING MOMENT” was a bit different because I had one of the hardest deliveries ever. But what I remember the most was my step-dad, Vern (who was still alive then) there and giving me that calm wonderful support that he was so good at doing. He hardly ever left my side for very long during those 17 hours plus of labor that I had with Taylor. Finally, after more hours than I care to remember, they finally took me for an emergency C-Section. It is hard for Taylor because he doesn’t remember Grandpa Vern. He watched the video of his birth for the first time and just kept saying mom “Who is that guy???” I said that’s Grandpa Vern and his first birthday video was the same. While we watched him dive into his cake, Vern was there in the background.

It wasn’t until I thought he was old enough to understand that I told him Grandpa Vern killed himself. For years, I just told my kids that he had died. When Taylor was old enough he asked me “how did he die mom?” and I told him. This has to be hard for anyone to digest, especially an adolescent. Shortly after his suicide I had a miscarriage. It was awful. Planned or not planned a miscarriage is one of the worst things a woman can go through…..another “DEFINING MOMENT” who made me who I am today. Later, my “baby girl” Abrianna was born, also after a rough C-Section but nonetheless, she came out happy and healthy with 10 fingers and 10 toes and she looked just like her Daddy!!! Still to this day, 9 years later, she looks nothing like me…I think he conceived her all by himself it if is humanly possible.
It was a rough time for us though……..the picture that will always remain in my mind and hurts me more than anything is standing in the driveway with my brother, Stuart, watching Nathan and Aaron get off the buses from school. I couldn’t talk so I couldn’t tell them, but Stuart did (their Dad was gone…he had killed himself) and I think they already knew as soon as they saw us standing in the driveway. This was one of the very most “DEFINING MOMENTS” of my life. And one that made me see life so much differently than I ever had before. At the time of that incident I was in shock for a long time and then I fell off the deep end, because not only did I lose one parent figure in my life but I lost two for a long time, as my mom fell further and further into her own world of major depression and never getting out of bed, just as she briefly explained in the comment to my last blog that I copied in (with her permission). You know, when my dad killed himself, my husband at the time was not there for me either, which is okay, I have totally forgiven him for that, but that was also one of those ““DEFINING MOMENTS”” of my life and it killed our marriage/relationship.

The reason I now have a twinkle in my eye and try so hard to be the best parent ever is because I fell off the deep end at that point and if it wasn’t for the impact of the drugs I did, the crazy binges and those awful encounters/collisions with other people, people that were bad or people that were like me and looking to be with other people like me (misery loves company) I would not be who I am today.
I know there are still many ““DEFINING MOMENTS”” to come for you, me and everybody and I’m ready for them. I have met a lot of “phony” people who have no idea what it is like to live the way I did growing up, and plunging myself into the world of drugs and alcohol and that’s okay. If your life wasn’t like this then all I can say is you are one lucky human being, but please don’t Judge the rest of us for who we are and what has happened to us. I’m not phony and I don’t tell people when they first meet me that my life was the “Beaver Cleaver” life, because it was far from that. The important thing is that I want my kids to have it better than I did and my mom just reminded me of that yesterday while I was arguing with my husband and she was on the phone with me at the time. Thank you Mom! I love having you back! You went through all those horrible ““DEFINING MOMENTS”” with us and the majority of us fell off the deep end, but we seem to have all recovered slowly and you are one of the main reasons why we have-----I’m so grateful to you, Mom, and I thank God everyday that I have you back!! I can’t believe how many times I said “I just want my mom back”. I can’t wait for our trip in August, so we can spend that quality time together!

The whole point of my blog is that I hope you all reflect on those “DEFINING MOMENTS” and don’t forget the lessons you taught yourself, or the ones that life taught you.

Damned if Ya Do and Damned if Ya Don’t

Have any of you ever been in some sort of conflict where you feel like you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t? So either way you handle the situation, it won’t matter because in the end you are the one who still loses, is still screwed, and/or looks like the “bad guy” anyway. Maybe this has happened to you in the workplace? Within a group of friends, or what I consider to be the worst….within your family?

I’ll tell you one thing I’ve learned; I will never use the form of “texting” again for a serious, lengthy or somewhat important conversation! I don’t know about how anybody else feels about this, but absolutely nothing in my experience has ever gone truly right. There are too many small, yet extremely important parts of a conversation that get lost in text, and along with an example, I’ll show one of my recently used texts and if it isn’t as simple as this (which still isn’t entirely 100% simple with “text-lang” ) than I will not text or use this type of communication anymore. Not just that but way too much of that really “cool” text conversation we use everyday gets taken out of context----it’s ridiculous! So here’s my new deal--I refuse to text anymore unless it is short, sweet and to the point, for example, something like “honey, pls stop @ store 4 milk on yor way hm”. Now if my honey doesn’t understand or questions the meaning, he is so smart because you know what he does……he picks up the phone and he calls me! Problem solved right? Wrong! Why do people feel the need to text about serious things that should be done via an e-mail or a phone call!! What is wrong with this damn world?? Big corporations don’t text important data back and forth to each other do they? If they do….I want to know which of them do this? Please do tell!

Ok so let us get back to the issue…..don’t you hate situations that no matter how you think you can fix the conflict at hand, you have decided that you just won’t win no matter how you handle it? And after several days of thinking about this more and more it is true and I’m not going to win but I could give two shits about winning this argument. The argument comes down to whether or not I should apologize for the same text that I sent to two different people. One is direct family member (one whom I’d like to consider and be able to say I’m very close to and the other being the significant other to that family member). Now my direct family member has indicated to me that the significant other is owed an apology for my “anger” and how it was undeserving and my first thought was “yeah right….when monkeys fly out of my ass....then apologies will too!”
Now, I was not angry when I sent this text (although for whatever reason they think I was....see there is that text being taken out of "context" bullshit again……how the hell l do they know….how can you tell if someone is pissed in a text anyway? Well for me it’s usually when the words damn, shit hell, f@#* are used and everything is in capital letters right?

So I've decided that I want to share with all of you, part of the text I sent and then you tell me if you feel it is an angry tone (since I was accused of taking out my anger on someone) ….just please tell me people. I need response to this. Okay so my text read something like “you know you have hurt a lot of people’s feelings….I hope you will at least go see our grandfather before you leave" (this is while this family member is home for a 2 week visit)

So I get NO response from to this text from my family member. However, my other 2 brothers do finally get invited to dinner (whose previous dinner plans had been canceled before) and they were beginning to feel that they would not get to spend any time with this family member ....hence my “people’s feelings are getting hurt” part of my text, but whatever….see what I mean about stupid texts if you have to explain yourself months later is it even worth it to hit the send button in the first place?? As a matter of fact I was feeling bad for my two brothers and my grandfather (who just lost our grandmother in March of this year) but magically, after my “angry” message as it has been referred to was sent, all the sudden dinner plans were made. Of course, my two younger brothers were add-ons to what I am sure was a previously planned dinner with the significant other's family. And, a last visit was made to see my grandfather.

Now prior to them all going to dinner and everything I get 2 messages from the significant other which are summarized into “whose feelings have been hurt? We cannot fit a million things into a two week visit (but a trip to Mesquite with friends was fit in there! cool!) and we have been trying to get the house ready so I don't have to do it all by myself and I don’t appreciate the guilt trip”…….
Now I just have one thing to say that I did learn during my several years of therapy that in his infinite wisdom my brilliant therapist kept pounding in my head (you know for a mere $150/hr) and it was “people don’t put you on guilt trips!” “There is only one person in the entire world who can put you on a guilt trip and that person is YOU!” So if you are feeling guilty about what somebody else said then that is your problem!

I’m not going to apologize for the text message I sent, and in the end does it really matter anyway because I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t right? If I sit here and ignore this whole situation then I'm damned for that to.

A wise man (my husband) said “If you choose not to apologize to the significant other of the family member who also claims they "do not hold grudges" .....than what does it matter because remember "they claim they don't hold grudges". I think indicating that the significant other is owed an apology means "there is definitely a grudge being held" until that apology is received. Well it's not gonna happen and I’m not going to play high school text games back and forth either especially when in the past the significant other has done nothing but complain about my family member and how unappreciative they are of them, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

I’m just way too old for this shit! And guess what, I just don't give A DAMN!

I have always believed that a child that sings all the time is a really happy child. I love hearing my daughter sing with her headphones on. As I walked down the hall the other night calling her name (and she wasn't answering) before I could get to her room I realized immediately that she wasn't hearing me because she had the headphones on and was singing at the top of her lungs. Of course, I stopped right outside and just listened for a few minutes. It is one of her very favorite CD’s. It is the “Summer Splash Party Hits” CD that we purchased for $1 that she just had to have! I tried to explain to her that “true” it had some songs on it that she really liked, but that they were sung by different people that we had never heard before, which is why it was only $1. Well now we own it and we take it almost every time we go anywhere in the car or truck (much to my teenage son, Taylor’s, mega protests!!) and she sings as loudly as possible “I…..WAN-NA SOAAAK UP THE SUUUUNNN…. I WANT TO TELL EVERY- OOONNNNE TOOO LIGHTTTT-ENNEN UP” and every time I hear her little voice sing it fills my heart with joy and nothing else in the world matters except how happy I know she is at that moment. Another one of her favorites is “I Can See Clearly Now" which was also one of my step-dad’s favorite songs, so I think about how much I really miss him whenever I hear it (he committed suicide in October of 1996, I only wish he would have hung around long enough to hear her sing the darn song for him! That’s another blog for another day!). Her favorite song on the CD is “Cruel Summer” so when I hear her sing that, I think of the movie “Karate Kid” and some really fun times with my friends. Good old "Bananarama"! The other song is “Summer Nights” from the "GREASE" Movie Soundtrack so now we also own the movie (thanks to Grandma Joan for buying it for her at Christmas time) and the option that it has for her to just watch all the music parts, which she does quite often singing loudly and trying to mimic every dance move while she does. From the time she was about 4 years old until she was about 6 years old, whenever we would stop to use a public restroom, I would be standing outside the stall waiting for her and she would be singing at the top of her lungs. The other women would just walk by me and smile or say “oh how cute!” She doesn’t do it in the public restrooms as much anymore, but here at home, we all know when Abrianna is in the bathroom!

So I’d have to say that Abri has been pretty good about figuring out the correct words to most songs. Taylor, on the other hand is a little bit “off”. Okay, he’s a lot “off” when he tries to figure out the words to songs! For example, the song titled “Escape” or as most people know it as “The Pina Colada Song” (also on the Summer Splash Party hits) was hilarious the first day we put that CD in to listen to it. As I began to sing the words to the song when it started (yes, as much as I hate to admit I know the words and kind of like the song) the part came on where it goes “IF YOU LIKE PINA COLADAS” and Taylor (who will be so mad at me if he reads this blog) starts singing “IF YOU LIKE ME….. KISS YOUR MOTHER…..” and at first I couldn’t understand for sure if that was what he was really singing, so I waited, and sure enough that was it and I just busted up laughing and said “Taylor, do you want to know the real words to the song?” and he was like “what are you talking about?” so when I told him what they really were, then all three of us got a pretty good laugh at it. And if you aren’t laughing or smiling right now, then I guess you just had to be there!

My kids also love Queen, especially “We Are the Champions” they get into the whole slap slap clap as they slap their thighs twice and then clap. Rob & I just look at each other and smile as they sing “YOU GOT MUD ON YOUR FACE….BIG DISGRACE…..” (The slap slap clap part I think they picked up from an “ICarly” episode but it just adds to how much fun it is to hear and watch them sing the song!). Okay so to make it fair to poor Taylor that I “dissed” him in my blog (as he would say), then I’ll tell you my story which happens to involve another Queen song “Another One Bites the Dust”. I know by this point, my mom is already laughing because she knows exactly what I’m talking about. See my version of the song went something like this....dun dun dun “ANOTHER ONE BUYS A DATSUN (dun dun dun) ANOTHER ONE BUYS A DATSUN AND ANOTHER ONE’S GONE AND ANOTHER ONE’S GONE…..ANOTHER ONE BUYS A DATSUN….HEY! YOU BETTER GET ONE TOO….ANOTHER ONE BUYS A DATSUN”

Summer Splash Party Hits CD = $1, hearing your kids sing their favorite songs = PRICELESS!!